Awake
by kreekoh
Summary: After not being able to bring Sasuke back, Naruto is thrown into a deep depression, can anyone help him? Songfic, NaruHina.
1. Sick of Life

A/N: This is my first fic, so I'm sorry if it sucks. Reviews are always accepted, even if

they're flames. I can't fix what I'm not aware of.

I'm only saying this here, because there's no point in putting it in ever chapter. I don't own Naruto or Godsmack.

Awake Chapter 1: Sick of Life

"Paralyzed, nothing's getting through to me,  
Hypnotized, from all my surroundings…"

Naruto lay in the hospital bed, asleep. Sasuke had run away, and Naruto had been seriously injured trying to stop him. If it weren't for an amazing amount of luck, even with the kyuubi healing him, he would be dead right now.

--Dream--

Naruto found himself watching what had happened with Sasuke over and over again. He watched as his best, no, only friend betrayed him. Every time he watched it, a knife was pushed further and further into his back, he could feel its icy embrace as it skewered him. He looked down in shock the knife now stabbed through, the tip coming out of his chest. There was a bright light, and pain shot through him, he felt as if he was going to explode.

--End Dream--

Naruto woke up from that terrible dream, drenched in cold sweat. He was really depressed. What had now been the worst day of his entire life would now haunt his dreams endlessly. He would be forced to relive it over and over. His depression sunk further. 'Sakura probably hates me' he thought 'and the rest of the village as well,  
for not bringing back their precious Uchiha.' He could barely move, all he could successfully move was his head and neck. As the night progressed however, he was able to move more and more. He decided that he would tap into the kyuubi's chakra, and see if it helped speed up his recovery. No dice. After an hour or so, he was able to stand  
up, he wanted out, and now. He noticed someone asleep in the chair across from his bed. It was Hinata, just another one of the people who he'd disappointed. He didn't want to have to face any of them ever again. No more cold glares from the side of the street. It's not his fault that the kyuubi was still alive inside him, he can't control that. Or could he?

Hinata's Dream--

She was falling… Where was she falling from… She didn't know… She looked to her left, there was a boy there. She recognized him as Naruto, he was crying. "Why are you crying Naruto-kun?" She asked, but there was no reply. It was as if he couldn't hear her, he didn't seem to notice her being there at all. She looked down, there was the water, drawing dangerously close. There were rocks jutting out of the water, worn away from the constant ebb and tide of the water against the rock face. She looked over at Naruto, it didn't seem to bother him that they were falling, it seemed like he was glad, but why?

End Dream--

An hour after Naruto had left, Hinata bolted upright in the chair she had been sleeping on, watching over him to make sure nothing happened. She looked over at Naruto's bed, he had been heavily sedated, enough to paralyze him for another day or so at least. He wasn't there. She did a double take, "NANI?" She scrambled around, peering under his blanket, the bed, anything and everything. "Naruto-kun, where are you?"

Naruto--

"I wanna be, something I could never be,

and I wanna say, things that I could never say…"

Naruto arrived at his home. He walked into his apartment and into his bedroom, he let himself collapse on his bed and let everything loose. He broke into tears. Why was all of this happening? Why did Sasuke leave? Sasuke was the only person he ever truly considered his friend, but Sasuke left, betrayed the village to get the power needed for revenge. He knew that he couldn't bring Sasuke back. Everything in his life seemed trivial. Everyone else knew their limitations, why didn't he? He had to keep pursuing the pointless goal of becoming Hokage. It seemed stupid to him as he sat thinking about it. No one would let him become Hokage, no one trusted him with anything, let alone an entire village. He was doomed to live a pointless lonely life, with everyone hating him. He was sure that Sakura would shun him forever, joining ranks with the others who gave him those cold stares as he walked by. His entire being was decimated, shattered beyond recognition.

He knew what he was going to do, but how would he do it? He got up and got dressed and left a note, not that he expected anyone to read it. He was going to the place where he first became a ninja, fully intending to contemplate the end of his ninja career, the end of his life. What was the point of living if you weren't going to actually be able to live?

Hinata--

How did Naruto leave, and where did he go? So many questions were running through Hinata's mind. She was told he'd be sedated for two days, on top of the week he'd already been in the hospital, and that they weren't expecting him to leave, but they had her watch him incase something happened anyway. She wasn't completely surprised by this whole thing, it was Naruto-kun after all, he always seemed to recover from things fast, she didn't know how, but he always did. She was running through the village looking for Naruto. She knew of only three places to check, and she was coming up to one of them right now, the Ichiraku ramen stand. She looked inside, not seeing him, she turned around and headed towards his apartment. She let herself in, and went to his door. She knocked, but there was no response. She tried the doorknob, it was unlocked, so she opened it, biting back her nervousness, this was for Naruto-kun after all. She walked into his apartment, which was a bit tidier than she had expected. There was a coffee table in the middle of the room, and she saw a note on it. Picking up the note, she quickly read it. It read:

"To anyone who actually bothers to read this,

I've gone, don't expect to find me, because I'm going to kill

myself, I'm going to jump off a cliff. No one cares about me, I've never been loved, there's no reason for me to keep on living. If you don't already know, I have the demon kyuubi sealed inside of me. Let all the people who gave me those cold stares realize that they've killed me, a human being, not a demon. This isn't the only reason I'm doing this, but it doesn't matter anymore, nothing matters anymore. Goodbye forever.

Uzumaki Naruto"

"NANI?" Hinata panicked. She rushed to see the Hokage, with the note clenched in her hand, tears streaming down her face.

When she reached the Hokage's office, she burst in. Sakura was at a table doing something with a fish, and Tsunade was at her desk, reading something that seemed important. "Someone help" she forced out between breaths. Sakura looked up and the fish she was working with died.

"What's the matter Hinata?" Sakura asked, with a worried expression on her face. Tsunade stood up, a worried expression also graced her visage.

Naruto--

"Yeah, I'm gonna do it again, I'm gonna do it again,

I'm gonna do it again…"

Naruto walked down the alley leading to the Hokage monument. When he got there, he pulled out a can of spray paint. If he was going to leave, he was going to make sure everyone knew he was gone. When he was finished with his graffiti on the faces of the previous Hokages, it hit him fully, his face would never be on this mountain. But he knew that it didn't matter anymore. He quickly and silently left the village that he used to call home, and where no one understood him.

Sakura--

Sakura sat dumbfounded. She had just read the note Naruto left. Hinata was crying next to her. Tsunade, having read the note right before Sakura, was contemplating what to do. She knew that he probably thought that she hated him, which was untrue, she didn't. She was starting to realize that her "love" of Sasuke was stupid and would never be reciprocated, especially now that Sasuke was gone. She had been reviewing her feelings for Naruto, not knowing what to think. She knew all along that Naruto had liked her, but she was too obsessed with Sasuke to really care too much about it. Now that she had given up on Sasuke, she had spent the last week or so considering Naruto. After all, Naruto had always been there for her, she couldn't say the same about Sasuke. That was it, she decided that she would have liked to be with Naruto, but now it was too late… too late… Why? Why now when she finally realized her feelings for him?

"Oh god, why now?" Sakura said, Hinata looked at her, Sakura could tell she understood what Sakura meant, and she cast her look downwards once more.

Hinata--

Hinata sat on the floor of Tsunade's office, bawling. She didn't care about anything anymore, not now that Naruto-kun was gone. She remembered him laying in bed at the hospital, how she had been so worried about him. He was sleeping, and he looked so peaceful. It was then that she decided to tell him her feelings when he woke up. After what had happened to him, she had to let him know, just in case something else happened. Watching him sleep had brought a feeling of calm over her, and it was then that she had drifted asleep and had that weird dream. '_WAIT! THAT DREAM!' _Hinata remembered the dream she had in the hospital, They had been falling, and from what she remembered, it had been very similar to a cliff. She got up and ran out of Tsunade's office, leaving the pair baffled.

Naruto—

"Sick of my life, I'm tired of everything in my life,

Dragged down, rubbing my face in the ground,

No time, for the undecided,

I wanna know, why I've always felt alone,

And I wanna love, why am I untouchable..?"

Naruto was sitting in the same tree he had been sitting in for hours. He didn't care about anything anymore. Everyone in Konoha had shunned him as long as he could could remember, and the only girl he had ever liked had never shown anything in return. Not to mention the business with Sasuke. He was so sick of it all. Why couldn't anyone love him? Why did everyone have to despise him? He sat contemplating everything, even though it didn't really matter, but he would like to clear some things up in his mind before he did what he was planning. The sun was halfway up in the sky when he decided that he had done enough thinking, it was time to do it. He wondered how people were reacting to his graffiti, he hoped they didn't party too hard…

Sakura--

Sakura had been with Tsunade all night, crying her eyes out and spilling her heart. Tsunade had been caring, she had sat there, consoling Sakura until the crying lessened. When the crying eased off a bit, she got up, thanked Tsunade and opened the door to leave. In front of her was the Hokage Monument, and she instantly started sobbing uncontrollably again. There, in big letters on the faces of the Hokages was written:

"Today marks the death of the greatest ninja to live in Konoha by the hands of the uncaring people who live there."

It was signed with Naruto's trademark spiral. Tsunade walked up behind Sakura to see what the matter was and she joined in the crying as well.

Naruto--

"Sick of my life, I'm tired of everything in my life,

I never wanted to be sick of my life, I'm tired of everthing in my life…"

Naruto walked up to the cliff that he knew feel precipitously down and there were rocks jutting out of the water with his name on them. It was a good 100 foot drop, '_Perfect' _he thought. He threw off his Konoha forehead protector, he didn't want to die representing a country that held so much scorn for him. He peered over the edge one last time, walked back a couple steps, got a running start, and leapt as high as he could into the air, he wanted to ensure the outcome. He plummeted down, why live in a world that hates you?

A/N: Good? Reviews will be happily accepted, please. I plan on making this a complete fic, but if no one likes it, I'll stop it here shrugs


	2. Awake Part 1

Awake chapter 2 – Awake (Part 1)

**Naruto**—

Naruto was falling gracefully towards his own self inflicted demise. His mind blissfully empty for the first time he could ever recall. His eyes closed, he could feel the wind against his body, in his hair. It felt good. Suddenly the wind stopped, he stopped. Then he started again, but this time it was in the opposite direction. What was going on? He realized that he had his eyes closed still so he opened them. He was in someone's arms, but whose? She looked down at him, and he realized who it was. "Hinata? Why?"

**Hinata, earlier**—

She was sitting on the ground in Tsunade's office, sobbing. Also in the room was Sakura and Tsunade, Sakura was sobbing into her hands and Tsunade looked shattered. Hinata started thinking about everything. Then a light bulb turned on in her head, her dream! She thought back to her dream, she finally realized where those cliffs were, she sometimes snuck out of the village to think there. Naruto said he was going to jump off a cliff, maybe her dream wasn't a dream after all, and maybe it was a premonition! She stood up and rushed out of the Hokage's office without saying a word, the two remaining in the office just took it as her wanting to get away to think. She knew that Naruto wasn't only doing this because of Sasuke; she knew that he needed someone to be there for him, she knew he needed her. She also knew that she had to tell him how she felt for him before… before it's too late. She recalled her dream, Naruto had been falling in daylight, and it was night now, so she had some time. She rushed to the spot she knew he would be and scoped the place out. She knew from extensive hours spent here that there was a ledge a little ways down that would be perfect to catch Naruto when he jumped, you couldn't see her if she hid right. She sat down and worked out a plan on what she was going to do. As the sun was rising she molded chakra onto the bottom of her feet and walked down to the ledge where she would wait. A little while later she heard footsteps up on the cliff and she saw a forehead protector fly over, which she quickly grabbed and shoved into one of her pockets when it was close enough. She heard Naruto spring into the air and readied herself for catching him. She snuck out of the little indent in the wall and jumped into the air, grabbing Naruto. She then molded chakra to her feet and ran back up the cliff wall with all of her might. Naruto looked up at her, "Hinata? Why?" Her tears broke loose.

"Naruto-kun, I love you." She said releasing pent up emotions from watching his forehead protector to hearing him spring into the air.

**Naruto**—

'She loves me?' Naruto took a second to let him mind process what had just been said. 'How can she love me? She doesn't even know me.' "You love me?" He let himself ask her.

"Yes. I do." She said to him, still clutching him tight into her arms. "I couldn't let you do something like that having not told you." He didn't know how to respond. "You weren't stuttering, Hinata-chan." He blurted out. She looked at him for a moment, and then held him again. After another hour of being held this way, Naruto looked at Hinata, who looked to be enjoying this very much. "Hinata… can we get up now?" Hinata looked up at him, blushed and let go.

"O-of course." She said, her face still reddening. She looked at Naruto, then back out to the cliff. "Let's go home Naruto." Naruto looked at her, saddened.

"That place isn't home, no one wants me there."

"Where will you go then?" Hinata had a concerned expression on her face.

"Anywhere, anywhere that isn't Konoha."

**Three years later**—

"Wait another minute,

Can't you see what this pain has fuckin done to me,

I'm alive and still kickin'

What you see I can't see,

And maybe you'll think before you speak…"

All was peaceful in the quiet town of Konoha, except for the young, brown-haired boy running around causing problems just like his nii-chan had. After all, what better way to honor his memory then by continuing his legacy? "KONOHAMARU!" Ebisu yelled at him, and the next thing he knew he was being held up by his collar, but not by Ebisu.

"Seriously Konohamaru, such childish pranks." Konohamaru swore he recognized the voice… But it couldn't be him, he's dead… Before he could look at his captor, he was on his butt on the ground and the person was gone.

"Found you!" Ebisu yelled, reaching for Konohamaru, who quickly vaulted away. 'Was I imagining things?'

**Naruto**—

Toying with Konohamaru like that had cheered the young ninja up some, and it was apparent by his face. Hell, just seeing Konohamaru again had been enough of a boost in happiness by itself. Being in Konoha again was nice, even though he knew that he wasn't really welcome, Hinata had wanted to come back, she missed their old home. She was waiting for him on the roof of his old apartment building, and when he got there she flashed him her biggest smile, something she had learned from Naruto.

When they first started traveling together, Naruto and Hinata were still very awkward around one another, if you were around them at all the level of awkward was very apparent. Naruto also noticed that when Hinata smiled, it appeared to be pained, and not genuine. When he asked her about her smile, she explained the intricacies of her life within the Hyuuga house, how her family mistreated her. He consoled her, and after a while he was able to extract her first true smile from her. That was over two years ago…

Naruto nodded at her and she walked over to him, "It's empty, no one's moved in, it looks just like it did when you left." She knew what his apartment looked like because of the time she found the letter on his door and then barged in to see if he was there. The two teleported into the apartment below, leaving behind two small cloud of smoke. Not far away someone noticed a slight bit of chakra that they thought they recognized. Inside the apartment Hinata settled down into the chair at the kitchen table while Naruto checked the expiration date on the packages of cup ramen he had in the cabinet. "Damn things never go off," Naruto said with a smile "you want one?" Hinata shook her head, she wasn't hungry, probably because of how nervous she was. Naruto busied himself with making the instant ramen while Hinata just sat thinking, what would her family think? Probably because of their not paying attention to their surroundings, they didn't realize someone was coming until they heard a knock on the door. Naruto froze mid-movement, how could he have been so careless? 'Oh well, they were all going to find out sooner or later,' "Who's there?"

**Sakura**--

Sakura felt a slight spike of a very familiar chakra in a direction which only helped her think further that what she felt had belonged to him. But it couldn't really be him, could it? He had killed himself three years ago. Sakura left quickly and headed towards his old apartment, which had been where the chakra seemed to have come from. As she drew nearer to his apartment, two suppressed chakras were apparent, she had received extensive training with this, and without it she probably wouldn't have been able to notice them. She decided that it would be best to use some stealth while heading there, they obviously didn't want to be noticed. Suppressing her own chakra, she crept to the door which she knew belonged to his old apartment. She reached her hand up and knocked. After a moment a response came from inside, "Who's there?" Sakura's heart skipped a beat when she heard the voice that matched the face she had been wishing to see for too long now. She was on the verge of tears.

"Naruto?" She asked weakly, still trying to hold back her tears. She heard footsteps getting closer to the door and it opened to reveal a taller version of the friend she had lost three years ago. She latched her arms around him and started sobbing. Naruto just stood there dumbfounded, until Hinata cleared her throat from behind him, at which point Sakura released her death-grip on Naruto to see who else was there with him. When Sakura saw who it was she put Hinata into her death-grip hug. After a minute she let go and just stood there. No one knew what to say, leaving an air of tension in the room. After Sakura recovered from the shock of seeing her friends again, she walked over to Naruto and punched him in the face, knocking him out the window facing the street. A couple seconds later Naruto climbed back in through the hole that was his window and massaged his cheek.

"What was that for Sakura?" Both of the girls present noticed that Naruto had not used 'chan' on the end of Sakura's name, and both had different feelings about this. Shaking it off, Sakura replied in an extremely peeved voice.

"Where in the hell have you been?" She was now glaring daggers at him, his face drooped.

"I… I couldn't stay in Konoha. I wasn't wanted, and I didn't want to stay in a place that didn't want me." Sakura frowned, she knew about kyuubi, it had been announced after Naruto's 'suicide.' She didn't understand what he had gone through, but she knew that it must have been painful, having everyone think that you were a monster and seclude you for that. She couldn't even begin to comprehend how Naruto had faced with all of it since he was a little boy.

"We were told about kyuubi after you… 'died.'" She looked at Naruto fondly, "No one cared, everyone just missed you. Everyone who knew you at least, others were happy, and Tsunade made sure that everyone who threw a party because of your death, or anyone who down-talked you was punished, everyone." Naruto looked curiously at Sakura.

"Punished?" Naruto asked, curiosity dripping out of him.

"She personally knocked each of them through a wall, saying 'no one talks that way about my Naruto nii-san.'" This brought a smile to Naruto's face, he could just imagine Tsunade baa-chan doing that. "She's going to want to see you y'know?"

"She can wait for me to eat my instant ramen." The microwave beeped, letting him know that his ramen was done. Both Sakura and Hinata sweat dropped while Naruto just scratched the back of his head.

TO BE CONTINUED… (Hopefully in a shorter period of time than it took me to get this done ;)

**A/N**: Starting with this chapter, I'm going to respond to reviews on the review page. So if you have a question you want answered, just put it in a review (hopefully along with a review) and I'll do my best to respond quickly. I stopped this chapter because I thought it was getting too long for it's own good, I'm gonna keep working on the rest and hopefully I'll have the next chapter out within a week.


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